• Cover: A black ink illustration on a white background of a mass of writhing imagery. The linework is thin and wispy. At the top deformed skulls, particularly mouths, are stretched and pulled into each other. In the middle a row of hands hold knives, arranged like animation onion skins, in a swinging gesture. In the bottom left corner is a human figure turned away from the viewer, showing their spotty and textured back. Title over the art reads, “Out of It Then In Again,” subtitle reads, “collected autobio c
  • 01: Panel 1: Close up of a stressed face, mouth off screen, in a horizontally hatched linework style. Text: Well. They actually ARE getting better. Panel 2: a figure sits at a computer desk, sweating and crying. The figure is abstractly styled with odd proportions. Their desk is covered in flowers, whole multiple paper like panels overlap around him like screens. Behind him are three large geometric rectangle rising from the ground, in a sketch style. Text: I did a bit of therapy. Panel 3: Multiple faces fr
  • 02: A series of 4 panels across the top, close up so gnarly gnashing teeth with no lips. The first mouth is closed, the second is open, the third is wide open and spraying spit, an the fourth is a close up of the teeth, now sharp with a blood spray. Panel 2: Borderless. Many gesturing hands erupt from a sleeping face. One holds scissors, pointed towards the source. Text: My problems are still here. But it’s easier.
  • 03: Panel 1: Vertical inset panel. Three disembodied eyes with threadlike nerves looking around, depicted as geometric cones emanating from the pupils. Panel 2: Four eyes in a neat row, conjoined by their nerves, look straight up at two hands. One holds scissors dripping blood heavily, while the other hand hovers above it. This hands fingers have matching slice wounds. Text: I got tired of it all. I adjusted. This is life. It won’t stop until it ends. Panel 3: A figure, stylized to appear sinewy, with no ey
  • 04: Full page image. A figure sits in a chair in front of a screen, pouring food into his mouth. We see some of his organs, the food dropping into his stomach. He is drawn in an abstracted style, each part of him a square/rectangle that overlap in many places. Text: I’m not spilling the details of my guts to anyone! I’ve decided, I just don’t care. I can’t care, to survive! But I don’t know how long I can hold out. I do care, a lot. I feel so dramatic. I’m keenly aware of how not special I am.
  • 05: Panel 1: Two cartoony hands drip as they dig into an abstract oily black substance–dirt? Blood? Something else? Text: It’s easier if I imagine myself as someone else entirely. Panel 2: Side profile, close up of a chin and collar bones, which melt away into the slimy, textural world. Panel 3: A face emerges from a dark environment, eyes nearly pitch dark with the rest of his face in shadow. Text: I can forget that I hate my body. Panel 4: Two hands hold a pile of bloody teeth in their palms. Text: I’ve m
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A F Azar

Out of It Then In Again

Out of It Then In Again

$5.00 USD
$5.00 USD
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A collection of abstract narratives and retellings of events centered on family, health cycles, and finding the will to stay creative when despair overshadows one's life--set in 2021-2023.

Reflection on despair, rising and falling--the byproduct of getting it out of my system--to be alone with my thoughts is analogous to torture. Life is the way it is. Uncertainty does not go away. I hope that I’m not lying when I say I’m coping.

An 80 page collection of multimedia autobiographical comics from 2021-2023. Contains two comics previously published online and three new book-exclusive comics. Evocative imagery captures the bleak loneliness of adjusting to pandemic living. By dredging up difficult feelings about one's relationship with the world and the people nearest by, the value of creativity is tested.

"This work is honest, raw, and brutal. Azar tore out his heart and smeared it on the pages. They're heavy with blood." -if I do say so myself

"I also hate my dad" -anonymous Ohio resident

This book is intended for older audiences: it contains nonsexual nudity, body horror, bloody imagery, suicidal ideation, and heavy themes. If you liked Junji Ito's Shiver, Kabi Nagata's My Lesbian Experience With Loneliness, or Lynda Barry's One! Hundred! Demons!, you'll enjoy this!

43 pages

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A F Azar

A F Azar is an Ohio-based illustrator, cartoonist, and zinester. In his free time he walks at local parks, visits local thrift stores, and experiments with all kinds of DIY. He enjoys making art about loving transmasculinity, story arcs driven by trauma, and juicy romance. Always trying new things, he hops around genres and techniques as inspiration strikes.

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